I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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