I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
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