So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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