Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
