Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize