I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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