My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
