I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
