What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
