Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
