we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
