i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
