That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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