He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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