I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
