For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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