Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
