plz talk dirty to me
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
