She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
