TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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