This dress was meant to end up on your floor
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Randomize