am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
