Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
He has the fingertips of a God
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