Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
that is very illegal...i love you.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
