i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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