I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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