don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
