I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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