I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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