At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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