sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
