STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
