Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
