so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
