you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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