The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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