suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
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