He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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