Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
