And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
