so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
