piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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