Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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