I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
