I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize