I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize