So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
