I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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