At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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