Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
