It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
babies were throwing up all over the place
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
