WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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