To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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