Can Purell be used as lube?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize