It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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