You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
