Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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