I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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