Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
