I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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