you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
