HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
