Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
