i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
