she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
