My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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