i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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