You're my little dorito
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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