WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
im holly from the hills drunk
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
false alarm, still single
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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