she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
