oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
