are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
