I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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