i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
