and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
