WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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