Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
