Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
