I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
